Sharing infertility stories
Relating your infertility stories can really help you deal with things when working through infertility can seem like a terribly isolated journey. ‘Twins on board’ stickers in the back window of the minivan, tricyclyes on the lawn – it’s easy to figure out who has children! It’s a great deal harder to spot the difference between a couple who are waiting a while before they start trying for kids and a couple who would desperately love to have a baby but just can’t seem to get it right. Prior to the days of the Internet you would need to look for a support group to hear other couples’ infertility stories, which may be quite a challenge for couples living in rural areas. Besides, there was quite a lot of shame attached to not being able to get pregnant. Due to the increased accessibility of the World Wide Web you can now have both a real life support group and a cyber support group, and you’ll be able to find out just how widespread infertility is.
Infertility stories of every shape and size are relatively simple to find on the Internet. You might find stories about couples who have finally had a baby after lots of miscarriages, couples who have gone through IVF or similar fertility treatments, couples who have chosen to use a donated sperm, womb or egg, couples who have given birth to twins (or more) from fertility treatments and couples who have opted to adopt. You’ll certainly find some stories quite similar to your story! The story that got my eyes all misted up was the one concerning a lady who gave her identical twin sister an ovary so she could conceive! It’s the ideal donation! The same DNA means the eggs are fundamentally identical to what she would have had in the first place, and it also means that her body wouldn’t reject the ovary! The donating twin had already had the children she wanted so she was eager to donate, despite the risk of early menopause. It’s stories like that which really get me going.
And that raises another point: I must admit I’m not certain that it’s a completely helpful thing to have such a large number of infertility stories available! Most of them seem to end with the couple getting pregnant though, which may encourage you, but they might also just make you more depressed. My humble opinion would be that while it’s a good idea to take part in an actual real-life support group while you read these infertility stories, since you need care that is specificallytailored to your situation, and you also could do with an opportunity to share your own infertility story. You may give the explanation that there aren’t any infertility support groups in your area, but have you thought of launching one? Other couples in the district could benefit from having a place to tell their infertility stories. Your GP could be able to refer couples to you if you aren’t already aware of other couples struggling with childlessness. An open heart, a willing ear and a hot pot of tea are all you need to start a support group – so why not take that step?
Sharing infertility stories is really important – so try to find a place where your voice will be heard. It might make things easier to manage knowing that you are not alone in your struggles so try to get a group in your neighborhood, or think of launching one yourself.
Here is more information on Infertility Stress. Here is a website with a free mini-course dedicated to Infertility.