IVF, Pregnancy, Fertility, Baby Dreams…

You’ve been trying for a while to have a baby without any success so you decide to go and see the specialist to see if there is any medical reason for this. Maybe it feels easier to live in the bliss of ignorance for a while longer. You won’t have any reason to keep postponing that first infertility consultation if you have an idea of what to anticipate, so here it is.

This is what the doc will want to ask about.

• When did you begin puberty? For the women, as much as you would possibly like to forget that day, you will need to try and recall when your periods started. If you started puberty at a very early or a very late stage it can be an indication of a problem.
• Any health issues you currently have or that you have had in the past could be significant. That includes childhood illnesses such as acne, diabetes, mumps – anything! Your fertility could have been affected by the illness, or by the medication for that sickness.
• Have you had any surgery at all? Possibly confirm with your parents, they can remember things that you might not, such as having teeth or tonsils extracted.
• Any chronic medication (prescription or over-the-counter)? Have you been on chronic medication previously? Any vitamins or supplements?
• When was your first sexual encounter? Have you had multiple sexual partners? Ever been infected with an STD? Early sexual activity for women can influence cervical wellbeing, and having many sexual partners could increase your chance of getting STDs, which could also cause infertility.

For the ladies:

• Women only: How is your menstrual cycle? Predictable or irregular? Long or brief? Rather heavy or rather light bleeding? Severe cramps?
• Approximately how often do you do the baby dance? It’s clear that not doing it often enough can be a problem, but doing it too often can decrease the quantity of sperm.
• When do you have intercourse? This probably refers particularly to the time of the month, but who knows, time of day might also be relevant! This is to confirm that you are having sexual intercourse near or during ovulation.
• Have you become pregnant in the past? This could seem like a strange question in view of the fact that you are trying to enquire about problems conceiving, but many couples struggle to get pregnant after having had one child already. If you have experienced many miscarriages previously then at least you know that conception is not the problem, and you have to work on keeping the pregnancy.
• What intimacy enhancing products (i.e. vibrators or lubricant) do you use? (If any.) Some lubricants are unwelcoming for sperm – hence the embarrassing question.
• Do either of you have any sexual problems? Inability to climax? Vaginal dryness? Pain? Problems getting it up? Nothing is out of bounds! Everything needs to be revealed if you would like a precise diagnosis.

You might not be feeling too stable after such a grilling, but your doctor will also want to know how you are doing emotionally. Remember though, now is not the time to be shy, if you haven’t revealed all of these with your partner before, it could be a good idea to share before you arrive at the specialist so that there are no painful revelations in the doctor’s room!

The specialist might need to confirm that all your bits are present and in working order, and ladies, this will almost certainly mean a quick internal exam for you. It could seem like a whole heap all at one time, but it’s a good idea to try and remember that the specialist only wants to help, and that internal examinations are part of the deal. Do your best to get used to it – you’ll need to go through at least a couple more when you eventually do have a baby.

When he (or she) has given you a good health check you could need some infertility tests. For the men this includes a semen analysis, and for the ladies, a pap smear. Both partners might have ultrasound scanning, STD checks or blood tests. Any ‘plumbing problems’ on the lady’s side can be checked via laparoscopy or hysterosalpingogram– if it comes to that.

Was that as bad as you thought it would be? If it was, I completely understand! You could feel totally exposed, inside and out! Just keep bringing to mind what your aim is – a baby of your own! That could help bring things into perspective.

Here is more information on Infertility Costs. Here is a website with a free mini-course dedicated to Infertility.

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